The Hardest Job

Hi everyone! I hope your Monday was good! It’s been a long day here! My son isn’t feeling well again. Nobody here slept much last night because he woke up crying. His stomach was hurting a lot. I still made him go to school, which was a mistake! We had to pick him up at the nurse’s office at 10 a.m. I took him to the doctor this afternoon.  I told her he is stressed out and has anxiety. She recommended counseling for him so I’m taking him next week.
My son is adjusting to a new school and environment. He’s always has a very hard time with change. In order to function well, he needs a daily routine.
Lately, he’s been very upset and hurt about his dad not really being in his life. His dad rarely calls him to see how he’s doing. The last time he called was in June. Him and I split up when my son was two in 2008. It was a very unhealthy and abusive relationship so I left him after seven years. A few years later, he married a woman from Juarez with three kids. I don’t know anything else about her except that. I can’t stand that this a-hole rips my son’s heart into pieces! I’m clueless about what to say to my son besides I’m sorry I don’t know where he is but you will always have us. I can’t stand my ex but I never tell my son anything bad about him. My son doesn’t need to hear these things.
I hope the therapy helps so he can stay calm and sleep better at night. It’s been a struggle raising my son in the past. I sometimes wonder what I’m doing. I’ll always be grateful for a strong support system. There were times when I had to play ball with him or teach him how to ride a bike. My grandpa and uncle have been good role models for him. They’ve helped me teach him how to play ball and ride a bike. My grandpa had surgery a few years ago because he fell off his bike while bike riding with my son. My uncle is extremely patient with my son. He takes him to do arts and crafts on some weekends. My grandma has helped take care of my son while I was working. Sigh! Here’s to sweet dreams and sleep tonight for all! Until next time!

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21 comments

  1. Yes she has been to court. They pay her if he works. They do not jail him if he doesn’t. Won’t help if he is in jail. He just keeps getting a new job and working on what he owes her. The other one is on disability so she gets 1/2 of the kids disability until the older kid is 18 and the she will get it all for her son. The other boy has to be close to 18 now.

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  2. You seem to have an amazing family and you did the right thing for you and your son by leaving an abusive relationship. One day, your son will be able to understand and you have done great by not talking bad about his father. It pains me to see people bad mouth a parent to the children just because they have a problem with them. You are absolutely right…your son has nothing to do with it and does not need the negativity:) You’re an incredible mother!

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  3. Oh no! Did she ever take them to court? I didn’t take my ex to court for about four years after we broke up but I finally did! He would give me $20 here and there before taking him to court. I finally said no this is bull! He tried to get away with not paying but the judge made him. He has to continue paying or else he goes to jail…it’s his choice. I don’t get much but it’s better than nothing. It’s helped this month when I had to take my son to the doctor. These men are sad. They’re missing out on watching their kids grow up. When the kids grow up, they will probably end up resenting their father.

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  4. Bless him! Just be there for him, and remind him that if his dad doesn’t want contact etc, you and your family do! You seem to have strong and reliable males in your family, and that’s something for your son to bw proud of and use as an example!

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  5. My daughter has that problem with the fathers to her kids. No child support mostly. Always excuses and they live in the nearby area so that excuse doesn’t work. Just is 8 and waits for his half-brother to come and he will promised and keep calling all night with new excuses. He drives, but there is always some excuse and the older grandson has a father living in his car. The other one was in jail numerous times and rehab a lot. Both fathers have been, but I think the one straightened himself out to a point. Doesn’t work much so no child support. My daughter has raised the boys mainly by herself.

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  6. He works over here but doesn’t see my son. He makes excuses like I didn’t have gas money or my car broke down. What really upsets me is him telling my son he’ll show up and he doesn’t. My son is there waiting for him, for hours. At least he’s paying some child support…sometimes. He fought me in court not to pay but he has to. That’s good your kids see their dad sometimes.

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  7. That is not that far away. He could certainly come over here if he wanted to enough. AT least my children do see their father occasionally. They don’t like the girlfriend though.

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  8. Thanks Tessa. I’m sure that must’ve been hard on your son and you. My ex lives in Mexico now. He wanted me to allow him to take my son over there to visit and I said no! This was when there were more killings and beheadings going on. He denied it and said it was safe. Yeah right! The killings were on local and national news almost everyday! I had to get an attorney. The judge said he couldn’t take him over there because it was unsafe. He could only see him if he came over here. Juarez is 45 minutes to an hour away from here.

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  9. Sorry it has been so hard for you two. We broke up when our son was 12 and he was forced to live with his dad and then refused to go back when he was 16. I got custody of him then. The kids all are not very happy with their dad. He got a girlfriend, divorced me and moved pretty far away and complains because they rarely will drive that far to see him. Break ups are hard.

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  10. I am so sorry to hear this dear!! you are trying your best and being such a caring mom! I know it is hard and hurts! I am glad he has these wonderful people in his life!! Keep going you are doing great!!! hugs hugs hugs!

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