A Guest Post!

parenting.jpg

Hi everyone! I hope you’re having a great Saturday! I don’t have a Saturday interview for you this week. I’ll have one for you all next week. Instead, I have the very first guest post on Life of an El Paso Woman! This guest post is by Victoria Naomi Fisher-Cuthbert from ToyiaForever. Victoria writes about her parenting experiences and how to stay calm for this guest post. She is a new mommy to 10-month-old, Elizabeth. Victoria writes about different subjects like marriage, parenting, etc. in her blog.  Here is an intro Victoria wrote about herself below. You can take a look/follow her blog here. She can be followed on Twitter @toyiaforever. 

My name is Victoria Naomi Fisher-Cuthbert. I love saying my full name, it makes me more official. I’ve seen thousands of sensational blogs. I’ve always dreamed I would have a gorgeous page readers would adore over. I’m my true self when I can place words on paper. My writing represents how confident, caring and spirited I am. I enjoy writing more than anything else. To put words and thoughts on paper gives me life. To have others read those words and relate in some way, makes my words more meaningful. I want my words to leap off the page and kiss you! I write for a purpose — to ignite passion and creativity in your life.

Parenting Guest Post

By Victoria Naomi Fisher -Cuthbert

Being a mother has its good and bad days. Sometimes I wish there was a manual that guides you to a perfect parent life. I’ve been blessed to have this little girl in my life. I get to be a part of her adventures everyday. She grows and learns everyday. I’ve only been a mother for 10 months and counting and…I’m already pulling my hair (rather it’s falling out)!

I’m overwhelmed by news reports and articles on baby do’s and dont’s. The back of a food label can give you nightmares for days. It seems like parenting is more of a horror story without a happy ending! Even after reading articles, books, magazines, along with listening to doctors, child experts and moms, I still feel like I’m not giving her enough.

Those moments (sigh) when your exhaustion catches up to you! Some crazy incident involves your baby eating paper or kitty litter. Your alarm goes off and you pray and hope your kid’s arm won’t fall off. Trust me, you’re not the only one to use Google or go on WebMD to self-diagnose your little one.

My advice:

  • First, step away from Google and take a deep breath.
  • Remind yourself that you’re an amazing mom or dad.
  • Think about all the good things about being a parent.
  • Don’t stress over every little thing.
  • Don’t dwell on the negative. It weighs you down like an anchor.
  • Keep a positive attitude on the absolute worst days.

Most importantly, have faith everything will work out. Becoming a parent is an honor and rite of passage. My life has taken a new meaning with new priorities and a new reason to smile. Having a child (or children) will come with a mess but relax…it’s a mess only parents can clean best!

Since I had my Elizabeth, I’ve taken my new role and responsibility as if it was a super power. It’s NOT to be taken lightly but life’s too short to stress over what you don’t have and what problem lies ahead. As you go through the day, promise yourself and your kid(s) that you won’t take being a parent for granted. Don’t be afraid to wave the white flag and ask for help. As a new mother, I sometimes feel when I ask for help, it means that I’m failing her. I’ve learned these past few months it’s the other way around. I fail her when I don’t acknowledge I’m tired and need a break. Although I like to consider myself Super Woman, I’m only human (with a really cool kid). Get a moment to yourself. Remind yourself you’re not a failure when you allow overbearing grandmas and moms to jump in. If the opportunity comes…run as fast as you can!

Ignore the scolding and judgmental looks from so-called “expert moms.” Just because their kids are grown and functioning in society doesn’t mean they’re perfect. They’ve made mistakes too. Don’t let other parenting styles knock you off your rhythm. After a couple weeks of spending time with my baby (only because my lady business was still getting herself together), I connected with her and started to understand her more. I learned her cries and knew when and why she was fussy. I learned her schedule of when she wanted to eat and sleep. So when other parents tried to chime in their opinions and “philosophy”, I was an expert on MY baby. I listened to her instead of what others said. When you know your baby, nothing else matters.

Finally, trust your instincts. A lot of parenting books and articles don’t stress it enough. Most guidance from the media comes from statistics. A group of kids responding to a variety of ways is just data! Your baby isn’t a number. Rely on your natural instincts if all else fails. So what if you didn’t use a specific lotion or healthy snack? So what if you gave your baby something that’s really sugary? It’s your baby and no one can out love him/her more. When your bones are tingling about something and everyone else is saying something different…listen to that gut feeling! Of course don’t ignore sound and wise advice, filter it. Just because using Johnson & Johnson worked for your mom’s mom doesn’t mean it will work for your baby. You might need Aveeno or something cheaper for the frugal Frans. Some advice isn’t applicable. I received a lot of products for my daughter. I didn’t use them because it didn’t fit in with my baby’s needs.

Smile and take a sip of the bottle. Know that you’re not the only struggling and juggling parent out here. I’m always here so now there’s two of us! From one parent to another, I hear it gets worse! Keep smiling…sooner or later it will be their turn.
ToyiaForever

If you’re interested in doing a Saturday Evening Interview and/or guest post, e-mail me at: amaya587@gmail.com I can also on be found/followed on Twitter @lma911.  

Photo from Home in Henderson

Advertisements

19 comments

  1. Her extreme anger has been fairly recent. She has a man in her life right now who is listening to her stories whether they are true or not. Her father – who had nothing to do with her until recently – told me ” Sorry to say this but she is a lot like me. ( he is a free loader) She is like a prostitute on a corner who works a story. When the story doesn’t work anymore she changes corners.” She has told some whoppers as stories,complete with tiny details that grow and grow and she has convinced herself they are true. She turned on me when I confronted her with some of her stories. Now she says I’ve never been there for her. After her screaming I told her I would not deal with her disrespect. I told her – I am your mother. You will not talk to me like this ever again. I am not her punching bag. No – she needs to decide for herself what is important. Sadly, the law of cause and effect doesn’t just work part of the time. She will have to pay the price in her own life for the things she does. I can’t fix it. The next time her life falls apart – and it will happen. She has made no cause for happiness. She will call then. She knows she did wrong.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. That’s a lot of kids! I have a hard time with one. I’m lucky my grandparents help me with him, especially when I work. I help them too. I’m sorry to hear about your daughter not speaking to you. Hopefully she comes around. Have you tried to reach out to her recently? Moms are usually right when it comes to advice, men, etc. I won’t tell my mom that all of the time though! Lol. Me and my mom weren’t as close but we are now. I think she got scared after my car accident.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. She has a 19, 17, 10 and 7. She lost her entire youth to raising kids. She worked hard. I helped when she was against the wall, but since this last boyfriend came in the picture she turned on me. Now, I’ve never been there for her. She has to figure it out.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. It’s been so long since my kids were kids. My son will be 40 in Oct. and my daughter is 36. Now that is a shocker! I do have a bunch of grandkids, but they all live too far away. it’s a good thing I have a lot of pictures.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Thank you again for this opportunity! I am so grateful you picked me. I am jumping up and down, screaming in my husband’s ear. This is so cool! Love you.

    Victoria

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Thank you again for the opportunity to write. I am literally jumping up and down, yelling in my husband’s ear at how excited I am.

    Victoria

    Liked by 2 people

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s