If you were with me last year, you might remember me blogging about a falling out I had with a former best friend. To be honest, losing a best friend is kind of like going through a romantic breakup. I wrote most of this letter on Christmas Eve. I’m finally brave enough to share it with you and let go. I’m leaving this person in my past, along with the bad memories from 2015. I feel relieved, like some weight’s been lifted off of me. I’m done with this person. I am deleting her from my life permanently.
Dear former best friend (I don’t want to use your real first name for obvious reasons),
I’m sure you’re relieved you left El Paso because it was never your favorite place to be. I don’t think I’ve met someone who’s hated it so much. Even though you continue to treat me like I’m a stranger who doesn’t exist, I still mean well because that’s the kind of person I am.
It upset me a lot when you didn’t really say goodbye to me when you left town. I’M the one who reached out to you to wish you well. All you said was thanks. You said we would have dinner before you left but it was all lies. Do you remember the time we bumped into each other at the mall? You pretended to care. You said we would do something before you left but of course we didn’t. I wrote about you here on my blog when we were no longer best friends. I’m sure you don’t even know I started writing again. Did you even know I was a writer? I doubt it because it was usually about you all of the time. You said it was always about me but I think it was the other way around. I was extremely hurt by the way you turned your back on me. You turned very cold towards me. You acted like I was nobody. You said I changed but I haven’t. My life changed because I got into a relationship but my attitude towards you or anyone else didn’t change.
You decided to go back to school. You said you were always busy studying and I understood that. Let’s face it, you had new friends and I pretty much became a nuisance to you. Honey, I graduated from college when I was 23 years old. I don’t think there’s ever a problem with an older person going back to school. The thing that upset me the most is when you started thinking you were better than me. You thought you were smarter than me because you were a college student. You know what? I was probably your biggest fan. All I ever did was help you and stay on your side. I’m sure you forgot all of that.
I’m saying goodbye for good. It’s time to move on with my life and leave the past where it belongs. You, my ex best friend, are my past and that is where I’m leaving you and the memories. You are nothing or nobody to me anymore. If I were to see you in the street, I’d walk past you because I don’t know who you are. You are just some random stranger that doesn’t exist to me anymore.