An Open Letter to a Former Best Friend

If you were with me last year, you might remember me blogging about a falling out I had with a former best friend. To be honest, losing a best friend is kind of like going through a romantic breakup. I wrote most of this letter on Christmas Eve. I’m finally brave enough to share it with you and let go. I’m leaving this person in my past, along with the bad memories from 2015. I feel relieved, like some weight’s been lifted off of me. I’m done with this person. I am deleting her from my life permanently.

Dear former best friend (I don’t want to use your real first name for obvious reasons),

I’m sure you’re relieved you left El Paso because it was never your favorite place to be. I don’t think I’ve met someone who’s hated it so much. Even though you continue to treat me like I’m a stranger who doesn’t exist, I still mean well because that’s the kind of person I am.

It upset me a lot when you didn’t really say goodbye to me when you left town. I’M the one who reached out to you to wish you well. All you said was thanks. You said we would have dinner before you left but it was all lies. Do you remember the time we bumped into each other at the mall? You pretended to care. You said we would do something before you left but of course we didn’t. I wrote about you here on my blog when we were no longer best friends. I’m sure you don’t even know I started writing again. Did you even know I was a writer? I doubt it because it was usually about you all of the time. You said it was always about me but I think it was the other way around. I was extremely hurt by the way you turned your back on me. You turned very cold towards me. You acted like I was nobody. You said I changed but I haven’t. My life changed because I got into a relationship but my attitude towards you or anyone else didn’t change.

You decided to go back to school. You said you were always busy studying and I understood that. Let’s face it, you had new friends and I pretty much became a nuisance to you. Honey, I graduated from college when I was 23 years old. I don’t think there’s ever a problem with an older person going back to school. The thing that upset me the most is when you started thinking you were better than me. You thought you were smarter than me because you were a college student. You know what? I was probably your biggest fan. All I ever did was help you and stay on your side. I’m sure you forgot all of that.

I’m saying goodbye for good. It’s time to move on with my life and leave the past where it belongs. You, my ex best friend, are my past and that is where I’m leaving you and the memories. You are nothing or nobody to me anymore. If I were to see you in the street, I’d walk past you because I don’t know who you are. You are just some random stranger that doesn’t exist to me anymore.

With everything,

Lisa Amaya


  1. As sad it is, it is good that you have decided to let the past go. I honestly believe that some people are meant to stay in your life just for a short span of time. And like you said, life goes on.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Good that you found others, as you can trust Lisa.
    This friend and I have known each other since I were 11 years old and had a great friendship for many years. There were times, where we didn’t talk so much and times where I started to think, that we were growing away from each other. So it came slowly and then one day, I found out that an important promise was not kept from her side, I became very sad. It was not first time, but a serious one this time. Today we are still friends at Facebook and talk very rarely together. I cutted the cord years ago for more than that.
    We learn by life and sometimes we do grow apart and then we need to go on in our lives, just separated.
    Take good care of your grandmother, I lost mine almost 10 years ago and she became 82 years old.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Such a pity that even the good memories have been tainted and you must leave them behind. You have obviously done what is best for you and that can only be good. May 2016 be a fantastic year for you!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. It seems like everyone goes through it at some point in life. Wow 35 years is a very long time to be someone’s friend! How did you move on from that? I actually feel like my boyfriend has become my best friend. I now spend a lot of time here with you all and with family. Family doesn’t really leave your side until they die.Even if you fight, it’s mostly all forgiven. I’m pretty close with my grandmother. I’ve always been close to her. I know I’ll take it really hard when she passes away though. Luckily, she’s healthy. She’s 81 years old today. Thanks for the kind words, Irene. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I do understand you so much Lisa, I have been there too and were also very hurt, when it happened. That was my best friend through 35 years and we started our youth together. It is very tough, when you feel, that you are doing all you can to be there, when they were in need.
    I hope for you to attract a kind new and trustable friend, who is able to be there for you too.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Thanks for sharing, Lisa. Like what the others said, it’s good to let go, time to let go. You are a wonderful lady and there are a whole bunch of people who can’t wait to be your friend. 😀 Look forward! Go forward! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Oh good! I hope you write a letter. Fifteen years is a long time! I’m doing good! Thank you for asking! This happened last year in the summer. It’s still kind of soon. Last year I was pretty bummed out though. I took it really hard for months. I guess you can say I still have the memories but they’re deep down in the back of my mind.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. This really touched me. I had something very similar in mind, because I lost my best friend as well. This happened to me probably 15 years ago, and I’ve never really had closure. I just hadn’t yet got the courage to take the plunge and write the post. You may have given me the nudge I needed. How are you feeling?

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I understand exactly what you mean. I knew this friendship was finished when we went our separate ways. The thing is you never picture it happening. That’s when it’s the worst.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Thanks Victoria! 🙂 It’s just a sad part of life we all seem to go through sometime. Try writing a letter sometime, especially if you feel bad. It really helps. I wrote it on Christmas Eve.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. This is so true. I have lost friendships that were worse than loosing a relationship. I think with relationships you break up, and there is closure. With friendships it is as if they just disappear without a word or understanding as to why. There is no closure, at least in my experience anyway.

    Liked by 2 people

  12. Brava, Lisa! I was in your situation 3 years ago. Haven’t looked back since. Here’s to new friendships from people who actually care about you and what you’re doing! Count me in! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  13. I can absolutely relate. Your right, loosing a best friend is like getting a divorce. I remember when my childhood best friend turned, I was devastated too. It took a while to stop trying to be the one to initiate amends and keep her name out my mouth. Even longer for me to forgive her and move on. I would have NEVER been brave enough to openly express what you just did back then. I really hope she reads this, just so she can see how she affected you. I still don’t know why it’s so easy to loose a best friend and so hard to get a new one. Thank you for sharing this, I felt better just reading this. It’s a good thing, especially since it’s the new year. Fresh start.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. It is a sad thing in life. I finally got brave enough to move on and let go and share this letter! Yes! I’m glad I met you, my new friend! 🙂 Someday I’ll meet you here or in Washington!

    Liked by 2 people

  15. I know what you mean. I don’t even want the memories anymore, good or bad. It just gets old reaching out to someone who doesn’t want to be in your life anymore. I’m ready to walk away. I’ve been ready to for a while now. Thanks for the comment! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  16. It’s interesting how some people suddenly think they don’t need someone that has been such an important part of their life for so long. How do they walk away from that? I have had a similar experiences, and really all I have left are the memories. People are so strange.

    Liked by 4 people

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